- Socialism -- You
have 2 cows. The government takes both, cares for them
incompetently (causing their milk output to drop) and frequently spills
much of the milk. Those who complain about the lack of milk are
accused of greed and/or punished. Strangely, the government's own
share of milk does not shrink (not immediately, anyway.)
- Fascism -- You have
two cows. The government shoots you and takes the cows.
- Communism -- You
have 2 cows. The government shoots you and (by tripping over the
gun) one of the cows, and incompetently cares for the other. The
government lives on the meagre supply of milk plus donations from
soft-hearted foreign governments. A small amount of the milk is
given to those who haven't already starved or been shot, who are then
told they get more and better milk than anyone else in the world.
- Utopianism -- If
you have 2 cows, Mother Nature zaps the cows, turning their udders into
eternal milk-shake dispensers.
- Radical Feminism --
If you have 2 cows, you declare an amazonian state free of bull
oppression and sit around waiting for the cows to hump each other.
- Capitalism -- You
have two cows. You sell one and, with the proceeds, buy a bull.
- "New" Labour, SDP and
other "third way" isms -- claim to be using model (6) but really
implementing (1), (3) or a combination thereof.